You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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