I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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