if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
