I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
