Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
