I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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