i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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