i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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