there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm bleeding and have questions
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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