I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Randomize
