If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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