so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
