so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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