no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
