So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
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almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
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I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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