Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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