apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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