Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
