i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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