Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
