How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize