My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
