Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize