just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
