He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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