You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Randomize
