I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize