spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just gift wrapped bread.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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