next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
