I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
