Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
These tits shall not be calmed
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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