In the future we'll all be gay
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize