i'm lost and i look like a hooker
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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