I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
