so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
