I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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