dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
