He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
