Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
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Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
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Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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