I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
