That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
