Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
