You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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