Your face is a jimmy john
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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