Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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