textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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