I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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