yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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