I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
my liver is dry heaving
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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