I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
