Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
