Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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