Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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