I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
