I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
