yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
