Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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