I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
