at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
