You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
